Don’t take “love” too seriously

Crazy. Lately. All my life. Shape of my heart. Quit playing games with my heart. If I ain’t got you.Everything i do i’ll do it for you.Someone like you.

Not only are these 90s jams that I love and get the fuzzy wuzzies whenever I hear them, these are all songs about LOVE. (maybe those go hand in hand… whatever.) As I’ve been listening to love songs from the 80s until today, the message has always been the same.

1. You got love

2. You didn’t get love

You either got what you wanted or you didn’t. Love is described as something you can give or take away. And when you give it, it’s gotta be returned at the same rate or with better rates. That’s the economy of love. It’s even true within the “Christian” community.

If you prayed for a certain amount of weeks or months and God-forbid, YEARS… you expect the girl to say “Yes” or even a “I’ll think about it”… you don’t want the, “No…[eyes rolling]… never.” or “Let’s just be friends…[with a smile]” Ouch. <cue… ‘Nobody knows it but me’ by Tony Rich Project>

If you want to be treated with respect, you demand that or you get bitter when they don’t and you claim… “what?! don’t you know that’s how I want to be loved? why don’t you get how i work?” And, if you wanna be a princess or The Queen, and your man doesn’t even know how to begin to lavish you with service or words of adoration, you wonder, “he’s not good enough for me” or “he doesn’t understand my needs which means, he really doesn’t know me.” Or my favorite, you are so failure that you really believe no one could or ever should try to get to know you or like you… and definitely [shhh] love… you. Because that would be IMPOSSIBLE.

But, that kind of love, must not be taken so seriously.

There is love that is pure and love that is selfish.

We can easily mistaken one for the other and still call it the same.

And you don’t need to be IN a relationship to get this fact. I am single and I very much understand from friendships and relating with people in general that there is an imposter that calls itself love. The standard is, what would you do for that true, pure “Love”? or better yet, what would you allow when that person wrongs you or falls short? The poser will quickly be revealed for what it is.

It it so true, when you like someone, they can do you no wrong. When you truly like someone, they cannot be called a creep or be called frustrating or “dude, what’s the deal with him/her?!” Because when you REALLY like someone, whatever they do gets the free pass of grace and mercy. Someone you don’t like could bring you roses, and they would become annoying. But someone you like would do the same thing, and they would be charming and cute.

So, let’s not take this [selfish] love too seriously.

Well then, what do you do?

If you are single, you get the luxury of working on how to love unselfishly. You are actually free to capitalize on this opportunity before you really need to get working on it. Start with where you live, your friends, or the wait staff the next time you go out to eat. I always hear, “Oh, I will do that WHEN i get hooked up… don’t you worry.” Oh, you should worry! Because it’s not about who you love but it is more about ARE YOU A LOVING PERSON? Is that who you are? One huge advantage about being single is that you can work during this “offseason” so when you do get into a relationship, you’ll be ready for the tip off when everyone’s watching… esp your future person. But as you all may know, whether you are single or a couple, selfish love is selfish love. It’s what comes out of your heart that is the most important.

And for those that are in relationships, I’m preaching to the choir, right? Well, you don’t have any time to waste because you need to BE loving with your other half. Once that commitment is made, you cannot “do whatever you want”… you are for each other and you need to work things out, whether you like it or not. Forget about past mistakes, look forward and give everything without expecting anything in return. The one advantage of those in relationships is that you can picture the Gospel as a couple… and it can be powerful. But, as you can see, being in a relationship or being single, the issues are still the same. So, what’s the point?

Love is… living for each other… even when they are not your lover!!

And I’ll leave you with the essence of love from one of my (secret) favorite movies. haha. what?!

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